TechCrunch reported this morning that Microsoft is poised to announce the next big thing in search and advertising—graft. The new service, Live Search, offers users cash back on buys they make from advertisers. I love this for numerous reasons but mostly for its blatant arrogance. It's tantamount to an admission that Microsoft has more cash than technology. Isn't this essentially the same thing as the Microhoo play—cash to compete? Ballmer should just hold a press conference and say, "We've failed to tie the web into Windows MillenaVistaXP 2008ServerProUltimateLive(TM) and now I would like to buy the Internet. Who's selling?"

Seriously, will this bribe work? What's first, the search relevance or the ads? We can logically infer that a gazillion people find Google relevant for a myriad of queries. Advertisers back up a dump truck of cash to the Googleplex every second and they wouldn't be doing this if people weren't buying. If the ads move to Live, the searchers will follow for discounts. The logic is obvious: if I can buy stuff from the same person for less on Live versus Google, I'm there. Or is Google just too powerful and a few ducats won't turn the tide? Mind you, they can "rebate" $44 billion (more than the gross state product of Alaska) if it gets them to 20% share.

If this doesn't work, next Microsoft will announce search prima nocta: anytime a human comes of search age, they are first required to marry a Microsoft employee. "The problem with internet is it's full of Googlers. If we can't get them out, we'll breed them out." Crazier things have happened.