Translation: I'm ready to eat lunch!
Has anyone else noticed that to work in corporate America these days you need a decoder ring? Yes, we've rambled on about it before - but today we learned that the British apparently have the same problem! The BBC's running a reader's list of the Top 50 most egregious examples of business jargon and b.s. Check out our top five favorites poached from that list below - or see it in its full, horrifying glory here. If you're an offender, please read this, make a mental note, and then never, ever utter these words again.
Do you guys have any favorites? Let's hear 'em, in the comments section below.
"Let's touch base about that offline."
"We need a holistic, cradle-to-grave approach."
"How can we help our customers in this space going forward?"
"You can't turn a tanker around with a speed boat change."
"We are assessing and mitigating immediate impacts, and developing a high-level overview to help frame the conversation with our customers and key stakeholders."
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I was going to suggest "low hanging fruit," but that's on there! I've definitely heard lots of "three-legged stool" analogies over the years. "Our approach/structure/methodology can best be described as a three-legged stool."
Are we on the same page?
—kelly
16:50, June 18th, 2008
I've noticed this phenomenon especially in the tech industry; my personal opinion is that using language that is indecipherable to most people keeps them from being able to participate in the process. Dressing up a product or service through language shrouds a lack of knowledge about it, or--dare I say it--conceals its fallacies. A company/service/product should be able to speak for itself.
That said, those who can wield the tools and power of language will nearly always succeed.
—kendall
20:02, June 17th, 2008
Don't forget about:
"Sorry, I don't have enough bandwidth for the Penske account"
"What's your POV (Point of View), Tom"?
"I just heard back from Acme Co. and they are hot to trot!!!"
"Let's leverage our opportunities"
"Let's get under-the-hood to take a look"
—mjandri
17:07, June 17th, 2008
At first I was excited to comment here, having worked previously for a large corporation under several levels of management. Then I read the full BBC article and realized that I had heard used, in utmost seriousness, just about every bit of jargon and cliched phrase mentioned therein used in utmost seriousness.
That said, I would add "reinvent the wheel" and "value-add" to the list.
—benpirie
16:17, June 17th, 2008
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